OPEN RP

[glaza]

action ✦ prose ✦ text ✦ aus ✦ etc

Comments

text;

[ironism]

Harsh. Is this your way of telling me you had a terrible time being my fake assistant? ( granted, he is a handful. but didn't they settle on some nice perks, including a holiday bonus? there's no way fury pays her more. )

Here's the thing though. I need someone and you happen to be that someone. I can't hire anyone else. It's too much paperwork. It's a whole thing.

text;

[glaza]

I don't think I'm cut out for the corporate world. Too much paperwork.

I also remember you telling me that I was "fired" when you were talking with my actual boss.

[ironism]

I'm sure you realize when I fired you I wasn't a hundred percent myself? Not that my sanity isn't questionable on any other day, but moving on, do you see why I need you? ( the thing is he's incredibly fussy and he doesn't want to get another new assistant. he'd spent a whole hour last night bugging pepper via text if she'd like to take back her old job and juggle that with being ceo. of course, she'd put him on read. )

As for paperwork, I'm all for saving the trees. Look, I just need an hour of your time. Two, three times a week, tops. Maybe four. I'm sure Fury would love for you to keep him updated with what I've been up to.

[glaza]

You keep using that word. "Need".

You do know the difference between "needing" something and "wanting" something, right? And you indicated several times over you don't want or need a babysitter.

[ Which is kinda what Nat feels this would be. Tho she's already kinda tempted to propose it to Fury if it gives them an in on Stark's world. Take way less surveillance, too. ]

[ironism]

An hour is hardly babysitting. ( and god, he'd know. he had a nanny up until he was fourteen. the constant supervision almost drove him insane. he'd hated it. )

Besides, don't you miss me? I thought we were getting along. ( is he reaching? probably. does he care? not really. considering it's way past midnight, it's not like anyone else will text him back if he were to spam them with ridiculous messages at this hour. )

[glaza]

Are you drunk?

[ Because yes, she would say it's a bit reaching (she would maintain they haven't known each other long enough in any case). She also is kind of surprised he's asking outright like this. Or maybe she shouldn't be.

She doesn't really miss the work per se, but Natasha can't deny that Stark was ever boring to be around. ]

[ironism]

Maybe. Little bit. I had two bottles of red wine. Does that count for anything these days? ( he's sober enough to continue working in the lab so... plus voice to text is handy-dandy ) I was celebrating me not dying, all thanks to ME. ( naturally. well, technically he owes it to his dad for putting him back to school, but he still had a hand in putting theory to practice. )

I guess you helped out a little too. You. Fury. I'll give you 0.05% of the credit each. ( clearly, he's feeling generous. )

[glaza]

Celebrating by yourself by drinking two bottles of red wine? Doesn't sound like much of a celebration.

[ In fact, it... sounds anything but. It sounds a bit... Hm. She can't allow herself to feel bad for Tony Stark. Of all people. ]

Also, for someone really wanting me to come back, you are doing a poor job of demonstrating it by only giving me 0.05 of a percent of anything.

[ironism]

Technically, I wasn't by myself. You've met JARVIS. Also, Dum-E and U. ( they're his constant companions. he's never alone. what's she going on about? )

Nuh-uh-uh. Considering all you did was jab me on my neck after you lied to me, spied on me, and then betrayed me, and are now giving me a hard time with this whole rehiring process, like what do you want me to do, beg? You should count yourself lucky that you're getting 0.05% of anything.

Btw, that's a no on the begging. Unless it involves playtime in bed, in which case, I'll think about it.

[glaza]

[ Yeah, she's not going to touch on the fact you were just surrounding yourself with AI and robots, Tony.

However, she raises her brows at the rest of it. She reclines to put her feet up on the nearest surface, typing out what she's assuming will be her last response to Stark: ]

I deserve a solid 10% of the credit.
No, scratch that 15%.

I helped run your business, I protected Ms. Potts, I helped you find what you needed to help create your cure on top of providing you with the means to do it. I also protected Mr. Hogan and helped you and Mr. Rhodes during your fight.

That's worth a solid 15% of the credit for all of this, including saving your life.

If you won't give me that, consider this conversation over, Mr. Stark.

[ironism]

( okay. fine. he can admit that she's done more than enough to make up for lying about who she was. no doubt about that. so... )

I'll give you 69% of the credit if you agree to have dinner with me. ( ha! ) No, I was just kidding. ( was he? really? ) 15%. Square deal. Come back and work for me. We'll keep this strictly professional.

If you're free tomorrow, drop by to sign the paperwork. We'll discuss what needs to be done and all that jazz.

[glaza]

[ She almost laughs at this response. Almost. Her mouth is pulled into quite the smile. She's about to comment on how none of this is even remotely professional, but that goes without saying. ]

Damn, I thought I was going to get a free dinner.

[ Because sure, she could agree to that for that amount of credit and a free meal. ]

And it'll be a few days. I'm in Tokyo right now.

[ironism]

Dinner's still negotiable. So, are you allowed to tell me what you're doing in Tokyo? Secret spy mission for Patchy?

[glaza]

His name is Fury.

And it's classified.

[ironism]

What's his thing? His specialty. He gets furious? Is that it? What about you? You got any other special talents I don't know about?

[glaza]

I have a pretty decent skillset. As does Director Fury. None of which are really your business.

Though you already know a handful of them. Idk if Mr. Hogan saw the other half. He had been busy fighting with a security guard at the time.

[ Yes, a single guard. ]

[ironism]

I saw the footage of that. Very impressive. I love that sexy cat pose you do. It's adorable.

Btw, have you ever been to the Tsukiji market? There's a great sushi spot nearby. Meet me there tomorrow. I'll text you the address.

[glaza]

I don't pose.

[ She has no idea what you're talking about, sir. ]

And you can't come here. You don't know how to keep a low profile.

[ironism]

What do you want me to do? Dress up like a ninja? Is that the kind of thing that turns you on?

[glaza]

If you were capable of being subtle, you wouldn't have to dress up as anything.

And for the record: dressing up like a ninja would not turn me on.

[ironism]

As my soon-to-be PA again, why don't you give me some tips on how to keep a low profile? See I'm looking to meet this hot redhead in a ridiculously expensive sushi bar in Tokyo. I was thinking I'd book the whole restaurant. Have it be a completely private space for two. Put on some mood music. Make use of those sturdy countertops. TMI?

[glaza]

Incredibly TMI.

And booking the whole place? Not subtle in the slightest. Let the restaurant operate as normal, book a table as a normal person, use another name. Try to dress modestly, don't attract any attention to yourself. Hiding in plain sight is real, and the biggest part of that is blending in with everyone else.

[ironism]

I've hit a bit of a snag. See I don't do restaurant bookings. I usually have someone handle that for me. Like my soon-to-be PA. You mind booking us a table for two?

And as for not attracting any attention to myself, I don't own an invisible suit. At least, not yet. Definitely going on my to-do list right after I'm done with you. Tl;dr you're asking me to do something that's basically impossible. People gawk. They stare. It's par for the course when I'm me.

[glaza]

It's not impossible. You just aren't used to doing any of it.

And I do mind, since I am still technically doing my other job. Jarvis should be able to walk you through the intricacies of acting like a normal, non-billionaire person.

[ She's amused by the fact that Jarvis will either be the one to read that out, or at least hear it from the phone. ]

[ironism]

Lucky for you, I'll try anything once. Guess I'll be seeing you at the sushi bar looking like a very normal, non-billionaire type person then. Whatever that means. I'm sure I'll figure it out.